Tuesday, June 27, 2006
tioman trip was great! =) although i joined the OW peeps, i was most of the time trying to control my buoyant. haha! i guess i really had fun even though i was finning around alone.
long story into my tioman, everything's in my dive log, so i shall keep it as it is. i've just done up my dive log this morning. am contented now that it's neat and all. hehe! when i have more time, i'll probably go internet & search for fishie photos and paste it. =)
today's just not my day. sighs. i woke up early to wash those clothes, daddy was up early, i was thinking why. anyway, while he was brushing his teeth, he kept puking. i thought he choked on some toothpaste or what. then mum came out to the kitchen, she then told me that dad's been puking since friday night. *faints* and he doesn't wanna see doctor. i don't know what's he's thinking really. sighs. anyway, he went to see doctor chong this morning, had to force him to do so. he lost 3kg within a week, puke til he lost water in him, affecting his gastric. whatever goes in, comes out, including water. *faints* that's how serious it is. she said, if he pukes one more time, he'll have to get to the hospital. apparently, he doesn't want to. he started to throw tantrums. being the stubborn him, nobody can really persuade him. anyway, thank goodness that he stopped puking and starting to eat a little after the jab he had. =)
now im sick too. my nose and ears are slowly choking up. the signs of me falling sick is showing. =S i just took pills, i guess i have to turn in real early tonight. else i won't be able to last throughout this week. it's gonna be terrible. =S my "last day of work" - saturday.
anyway, work wasn't too well today. oh well, people are slowly forming cliques by themselves. i don't wanna mention too much, those people should know who they are. someday, i hope they grow up. i've given up on things like that. lijuan was saying and wondering what will they be doing. i told her, just ignore and give up hope alright. cos it's their mouth, it's their mind. whatever they wanna do, think and say, it's not within our control. whatever makes them happy. and last interaction with keith wasn't good. oh well. don't wanna go into it too much. i guess they should be in our shoes and understand our work too. well, i guess it's time to have a change of environment. im tired. really am. school's starting, thank God for it actually.
sighs, the day just ended with a simple and nice dinner. =)
posted by Jenn Tan @ 12:20 PM
Saturday, June 24, 2006
hmmm, the day has passed by so quickly! im almost done with the cleaning or rather im done with the cleaning! haha! great workout since morning! do those chores so that daddy don't have to do so much. =) alright, i love daddy. as simple as that. haven't been helping him. he went to the clinic and just came home. haha! just nice, i heated up the food for lunch already! trying to be a good girl before i leave for my trip. haha! =P
yesterday dad and mum had a good talk with me. about my approaching 21 years of age. about the things that im doing now. i mean, dad and mum rarely really talk to me. but when we talk, we're more like serious kinda talk. which i treasure alot. i mean i appreciate them being concern for me.
well, they said it's dangerous to go diving, i told them "kor kor goes diving too what." they replied "he's a guy." i was like (-_-"') haha! i know where are you guys coming from. don't worry about me alright? i mean by now it's only fair that they know how much i enjoy diving. there's no right or wrong in saying those things to me. that's what mum's worried about. she's afraid she got me all upset. i mean im open to all these. dad's the quiet one as usual, doesn't matter, i know he cares for me more than anything else. thanks dad, i love you! hehe! well, i love my mum, but sadly, there's not much bonding there. i don't wanna go into details. but anyway, thanks for your concern. =) then next they went on to the topic of me being 21 years old. oh man. some kinda scary age. haha! i know it's towards liberation and freedom, but somehow, if you ask me, i really wanna remain as a kid forever. but oh well. haha! mum said i can make decisions on my own and all. (haven't i been doing that at times?!) haha! to be more exact, i rule my life. my future's in my hands, don't waste it away. oh well, im not that kinda person who loves to waste time. i reflect so much each time. sometimes, i think too much. haha! i know myself. but i find it tiring to understand myself at times. (then how do you want people around you to understand you?!) *scratches head*
anyway, all talking's been done. im contented. they're contented. *thumbs up!* im just looking forward to the trip! this trip's gonna be good i hope! hehe! =D hope my buoyancy will get better. haha! such a failure if i still can't control well. sighs. don't get too stressed up my dear jen, things are gonna be fine. yeahs! can't wait to use my own mask and snorkel! thanks bro! haha! and now with my mask strap! ahhh, this time my hair don't fall out so much! haha! =) happiness.
have to head to the chinese sin seh later at chinatown @ 1530hrs. i don't know will i even recover. sometimes, i really feel like giving up hope. eczema can't be cured. yet i love the oceans so much, i love my job. what am i to do? i don't know, i seriously don't know. school's starting, im trying to get it cure even before i get stressed out. eczema will flare! =( there's no hope seriously. sighs. we'll see how. alrighty, will only be back on sunday night! i love you guys! take care here in singapore! haha! =P
posted by Jenn Tan @ 4:31 AM
Friday, June 23, 2006
watch alan and mary holding hands... i envy them =)just another day at work and today i just kept quiet throughout the whole day. must be wondering why. well, just didn't feel like interacting with my colleauges? (just those from my department) not that im being stucked up, just didn't like being facade. anyway, i helped the trainers to clear the seaweeds during my break time. been some time since i did that.
i guess things was much more better not talking to them. =) sad fact, but to me, i was feeling alright. cos i couldn't bring myself to do so. sadly, i feel sorry for them. (which is bad if I feel sorry for people) for having to backstab your colleagues, to start spreading rumours about others which weren't true. i guess you girls are just feeling insecure, that's all i can conclude. im happy with true friends at lagoon, nice friends at school...etc. they know my true character. well, i can't be least bothered by what they say right now, i WAS very much affected, guess it just doesn't pay to be good eh? just hope someday you girls will feel secure and start living a life. =)
anyway, the good side of my life... here it goes! went windsurfing with my bestie - renee of cos! haha! we had fun (apparently falling into the waters) haha! Alan and Mary went too, together with david and his wife. hmmms... imagine having alan and mary as your parents, you'd be the luckiest kid on earth! imagine your parents windsurfing at the age of 46?! awww! renee and i had an agreement, that is to windsurf every wednesday! haha! she said, to spend quality time with her. haha! we're like a couple eh? somehow we made our trip good yesterday. we then had dinner at laguna @ east coast with alan and mary. it was somewhat sweet. to be enjoying the breeze and all, watching people spending quality time with their loved ones. how sweet. =) i then headed down to costa sands to watch pool dive. somehow, if you ask me, i do miss pool dive. weird i know, who will ever miss pool dives? haha! of cos above all, i do miss all diving trips if you were to ask me. never thought i'd be falling in love with diving so much. seriously speaking. i still enjoy the oceans, the marine life as much. no matter how bad my mood gets, whenever i get in touch with the waters, i feel so much better. perhaps that's why i enjoy work so much. partly it's because i really enjoy interacting with guests. you'll learn to so much, trust me. life's a learning journey that i treasure.
alright, looks like i gotta pack up for tomorrow's trip! off to tioman! whoop! im enjoying life before school! hehe!
posted by Jenn Tan @ 11:17 AM
Monday, June 19, 2006
another off day i have here! siti called to ask if i could take over her shift. i said no. i received 2 messages from her. first one was to ask if i could take over her shift, second one was to say if i can't then she'll just head to work. what are you trying to imply here? i don't know, just gives me the impression that she doesn't wanna really work. working attitude of my colleagues nowadays are getting from bad to worst? this should be the best description.
well, vishnu, qaiyum and jas is gone. asnul's pretty shorthanded already. whatever you're being scheduled to work, please try to make it. i know im not helping much by taking a pretty long break next week. im totally sorry boss, i guess i know my limits more than anyone else. im pretty tired. i've come to realised that in service line, you really can't stay for long. work gets pretty tiring. i need a month break just like before, but i know i can never make it. so next week im only working on tuesday and thursday. really sorry boss.
school's pretty much starting. if you ask me, im pretty excited about it. new school term in uni. hmmm, i hope life gets better. with the biz coming up, i really don't know how will things be. take a step at a time i guess. it's not gonna be easy, i know it. but im willing to try, hoping i don't screw up anything. =)
i was at work yesterday and there were so many school groups yesterday. i was running around like mad lady. oh well. and so 7 companies having family day at sentosa! faints! so packed! back to work, there was this session, i was doing interaction. i told the mum, only 2 people down into the water regardless of age, so she gotta decide who she wants to go with. as much as she wants to go with her 2 children, im really sorry. so she handed the youngest one to her husband. when she got out of the water, she immediately went to carry him from her husband's arms and said this to her child... "don't worry alright, mummy's here." i don't know, but i felt so heartwarming. you know that kinda assurance you get from your parents means so much more than anything else you could ever get in the world? perhaps those of you who has so much assurance from your parents wouldn't have felt so. even though daddy gives me the assurance, i couldn't really feel my mum when i was young. im not gonna deny that. i was closer to my maid than anyone else. i guess i would make a pretty good mum. haha! not bragging, but because i know what a child really needs, since i lacked of the most important love (mum's love) since young, i would give my child the best whatever i could provide. then as i grew, i felt my aunt's love. but you know, no matter what, you'll still rank second? no matter how much you really enjoy going out with you, you know it. let's take an example of going to the toilet. their child will always get to the toilet first before they actually attend to you. think back, it's better than nothing. til today, i guess i've provided my mum with the necessary things that i could do within my means. i hope someday mum will learn to treasure things.
dad's been providing so much for the family, you didn't have to work. no household chores, maid to serve. the reason why dad didn't want you to work was because so that you can enjoy life at home, he can support. apparently, it didn't turn out the way you want it. i don't really wanna admit that it's a curse that the TAN family has. with all the aunties and uncles having affair, families breaking up. you want shopping, dad provided a joint account so that whatever expenses, he'll pay. you lost in shares, he paid off in thousands. when you were so ill, dad rushed to get your pills. til now, he has difficulties walking, he still does that. i don't understand, why would those things still happen. is what daddy provided you with insufficient? do recall those times when dad was in hospital, i covered so much for you. when dad was back, how much i protected you. i kept so much secrets for you. i hope you'll learn someday.
i was just having a chat in the living room with dad and one day he said... "you know i hope you don't be like your mum, treasure whatever you have. someday i hope you'll find someone who loves you for the rest of your life...dad's not young, can't always be there for you" the next thing i did was to run to my room and had a good cry. i was afraid to lose dad, just anyone on earth can be gone, except for dad. and those words are so heartwarming. if you wanna say, dad and i don't really talk much to each other. the only time we talk is when it's serious matter. we love each other deep down in our hearts. the only person he worries most is me. =) he's sick now actually. tonight don't think i'll be heading for the "family" dinner at chomp chomp with granny and all. just wanna stay home and be with dad. alright, enough of famiy stuff.
anyway, last night uncle ronne and mi were arguing again!! im like learning to pick up the structure! argh! and then from a biz discussion, it became a personal talk again. when will all these end? i hope someday, uncle ronne will learn too and mi, learn to let go. discussion just ended in the afternoon. nothing much, i'll take things a step at a time first. for now, i'll just have to learn to handle the accounts if you call it and stocks. of cos in a biz, these are the most impt assets of the company. haha! so slowly. *winks*
anyway, i had my long waited cheesecake! yum yum! hehe! my favourite is of cos dessert! slurp! bakerzin cheesecakes are the best! ben & jerrys ice cream are of cos the best too! i love dessert sessions! my friends mentioned that i always look like a little girl enjoying her dessert. well, i don't deny that! it's one of the nicest things on earth! i prefer having my cheesecake at bakerzin, the one situated at one fullerton. still remember my poly year one, i head there every weekend, just to study, enjoy my tea, cakes and sea breeze. that's what i call life. there's so many things that i suddenly missed doing. i guess everyone's so busy with life. i thank God that im the independent one. i could do things on my own. hehe! in fact, those times when im alone are the times whereby i learnt alot. really. i explored places. =)
there's many things in life to worry about. take things one step at a time! life goes on! don't give up hope!
posted by Jenn Tan @ 8:42 AM
Saturday, June 17, 2006
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what an evening! finally home and listening to some songs, updating my blog. i had a good time chatting with ching actually. we took the train back from clarke quay. kinda miss this "small sister" of mine. =) great that you're taking things fine and enjoying school, which you should. =)
was at michael's house after work. was actually comtemplating whether i wanna go right at the end of my work day. i thought i just wanted to go stroll along some streets alone. then they said to go michael's house. i thought it might not be as bad. nice dogs he has! baby mattew was adorable. the first photo is me carrying baby mattew! awww! so adorable eh? brian said that i looked so motherly carrying him. haha! i love baby mattew! second pic is ravan (ah tan) carrying mattew. great papa! haha! nah, mattew's michael's son! haha! 3rd pic is connie (mummy) carrying mattew! he just woke up actually! yawns! hehe! 4th pic is me and rainbow! haha! she's so adorable eh? and lastly jayce carrying mattew. jayce and i shared alot in common. you won't wanna know how similar we're.
let me just share a little here. our eating style (we share our lunches!), our character is so similar. the relationships that we went through, the family background...etc. too much to name. although she's like 10 years my senior, we clique well.
anyway, i had fun with the trainers and friends. i wanna apologize to my friends of whom i've not really given attention to. i know you guys really care about me. recently, im doing alright, don't worry.
my last puff will remain as my last puff. i vowed to myself but nobody else. jen should learn to treasure life much more. people who care so much for you, shouldn't be so selfish. yup, i should spare a thought for those who spared a thought for me. im thankful for you guys. =) i'll work towards a better future!
posted by Jenn Tan @ 4:04 PM
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Hey peeps! I'm back, sadly to reality. Thanks for all those SMSes you guys sent. I'm fine, im alright. No worries. My worried friends... "there's heavy rain and storm, are you alright?" haha! yeah yeah, im totally back in one piece.
tioman from June 9-11 2006. I'll never forget this leisure dive trip. =) i guess i still love diving. he said, it's a totally LOVE or HATE thing. hehe! I somewhat agree to that. im totally fascinated! BIG fishes (many to name), eel (my best friend), blue spotted stingray (the one i always feed and touch at the touch pool), tiny alimony fishes (simply adorable! i wonder how are those in UWS feeling) sighs. some things are just meant to be in their natural environment. well, not saying that animals in captivity aren't good, they are, they live longer in fact, but it's really so much fun in the ocean!
one night in mersing - i watched discovery channel! whoop! how interesting! didn't quite manage to catch the opening match of the world cup 2006. I guess i was too drained out to watch. haha! i heard the rest shouting "GOAL" ahhh... haha!
second day (saturday), set off to tioman! finally the amazing island whereby Andy (my third bro keeps bragging about his stupid OW shipwreck!) humps! let me tell you, i saw 3 shipwrecks! booo! im not losing out any, bro! haha! =P met this guy, Donald (apparently he works in TI) how coincidental! haha! he should be heading to MSA this week. i love the people of this trip, excluding the other group who chartered fishermen's boat. simply slow! started to pour at night. thank goodness there's heater in the room! else i'll be so dead like Aur trip! hehe!
third day, the dreaded day came. i don't wanna come back. i really don't wish too. as night fell on the second day, it's simply demoralising. i don't really know how to describe that feeling, probably if you were in my shoes, you could understand better. the last dive was bad i guess... strong current! gees! for a amateur like it, it's considered strong. there were lots to see though.
then it was time to set off back to Singapore. sighs. i guess i was too tired that i feel asleep again in the boat. i didn't quite get to enjoy the ocean this time round, unlike the Aur trip. Aur's trip back was good, alot of thinking were done. i guess that's how it works. Tioman was better. (only i know why)
anyway, had to do transfer, just that experience is enough. haha! it's pretty fun actually. walking all the way back from mersing jetty to hotel timotel. hmmm, good experience. thank goodness i still had some energy reserved. =) then it's soon dinner time! yum yum! i think i ate quite abit for this trip. hehe! it's holiday mah! unlike the Aur trip, couldn't quite eat. too much on my mind.
by the time i reached home was already 3am! awww! the one who's poor thing isn't me. it's him. but i took over the wheels when we arrived in Singapore. he literally knocked out.
today it's the day to wash all diving gears! whoop! all done! actually wanna pack my wardrobe, sighs, but im so tired still. in the morning bro came back with his in-laws and family. oh well, gotta entertain them but i was more interested in talking about diving with my bro! haha! he and his manado trip. sighs. i wished, someday, somehow. well, the day whereby i could control my buoyancy well enough would be the day worth celebrating. hehe! and all i wanna say is that... im burnt! haha!
posted by Jenn Tan @ 7:10 AM
Monday, June 05, 2006
nice morning view
the first aider! stupid fins didn't fit me! swell like crazy! don't think smiles is good! im bearing the pain!
the islander
good dive!
beautiful ocean!
the funky peeps!
after dive
grace and I
been some time since i blogged eh? ya, almost a month? or rather 3 weeks.
life's been pretty busy. work hasn't been that good. trainers stop stressing me, colleagues please work, and visitors please stop complaining. sighs. im so tired.
came back from my diving trip on the 28th of may. i had fun and i'll always remember my trip. the open sea where all problems are freed! the fishes that are forever adorable! =) thanks to those who has made my trip memorable. the only thing i wanna be (IF i had the choice) is to be a marine animal. haha! to be living in the water. fishermen please don't catch me! hehe!
long story on my diving. hehe! still, i'd love to share. first dive (snorkeling) whoop! fun one! hehe! did those rescue and all. haha! 2nd dive, down to the sea bed! wow! nice waters to do mask clearing and all basic stuff. 2nd stage cleared! headed for lunch and continued with another one! Corals plus jellyfish seeing...ahhhhh... i cut myself! oh damn! til now it's still itching. it's weird. oh well. time for another dive after resting. then i realised how painful my leg is! it swelled by the end of the day! what a thing. sighs. it's no fun. remember the tears i cried. haha! and i was so irritated with the second dive, cos everyone sees jellyfish as scaryfish instead. kept pushing each other away, anyhow fin, just because they don't wanna touch jellyfish. people, i know how irritating the sting can be. but please consider for people behind you. anyhow fin, then fins hit my face, cylinder knocked my head. really irritating.
time for dinner then theory test! late night, everyone's tired. i slept at 1 plus am. was chatting with my instructor and a DM. funny experiences and things they do. how interesting and fascinating diving can be! woke up early the next morning for another or rather what my instructor mentioned as "graduating dive". however you wanna call it. went down into the waters with my injured (not one but two) feet. haha! it was good. better this time. and I saw trigger fish! whoop! hehe! this nice black fishie! so cute, it kept following us. apparently, even though my instructor was my buddy, he was so busy with others that i just keep following him only. *faints*
on my way back, facing the open sea. so many thoughts ran through my head. i had a good thinking. anyway, had a nice chat with everyone as well. soon after, all fell asleep. haha! the boat ride and bus ride was long! i had fun, the rest doesn't really matter. all i hoped for was that how i wished i could just stay and live in the open sea. apparently, we all know that's not gonna happen. sighs.
alrighty, enough of those. i look forward to other diving trips. *winks* tomorrow will be one busy day. OT some more. Minister of manpower coming down and all the big shots of haw par. sighs. gotta entertain them. what a thing to do. boring stuff. i just want everything to end early, that's all i long for.
posted by Jenn Tan @ 1:40 PM
